


Calling Doctor Howard, Doctor Fine, Doctor Howard

by PepperF



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-04-21
Updated: 2009-04-21
Packaged: 2017-12-09 20:16:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 625
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/777568
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PepperF/pseuds/PepperF
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>With friends like these...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Calling Doctor Howard, Doctor Fine, Doctor Howard

**Author's Note:**

> A slice of nonsense.

"I swear to god," growled Jack, "if one more person tries to feed me ice chips, I'm gonna shove the damn things down their pants."

Daniel, Teal'c and Sam hesitated in the doorway. "And good morning to you too, sunshine," said Daniel, lightly.

"Have the nursing staff been mistreating you?" asked Teal'c, his tone not so much I-must-defend-my-leader, and more my-leader-is-talking-out-of-his-ass-again. 

"I brought beer," offered Sam. All three guys turned sharply to look at her. She smiled wryly, and shrugged. "Okay, I lied. I brought grapes." She held up the bag.

Jack dropped his head back down to the thin infirmary pillow in bleak despair. "You're all fired!"

Daniel appropriated the only chair, and put his feet up on the bed. The position looked extraordinarily uncomfortable, so Jack could only conclude that Daniel was doing it purely to annoy. "It's only a little break. It's not even a fracture. You've had much worse."

Teal'c raised his eyebrows at Jack's muttered imprecation. "You once told me that, although you might seem like 'a grumpy old bastard', you greatly appreciated all our efforts to keep you entertained when in the infirmary for extended periods of time," he said. 

"I did not!"

"It was at the New Year's party hosted by Sergeant Siler." 

Jack groaned, and pulled the pillow over his head, holding it down with his hands. "I hate people who don't drink."

"You also said that you believed there was 'something magical' about the current configuration of SG-1, and that no god in the universe could beat us."

"Teal'c..." Jack whined, pitifully. 

Sam looked through the shelved bedside table for something to hold the grapes. "Remember the time I set your leg and you nearly puked?" she reminisced, brightly. "And then the doctor at McMurdo had to break it and reset it, and you did—"

"I _order_ you never to mention that again," said Jack, forcefully. He lifted the pillow briefly, saw Sam arranging grapes in a kidney bowl, and disappeared back underneath it again. "Wouldn't you all like to _go away_?" he suggested, sweetly. "Go get—get an early lunch or something. Go out for pizza. It's on me. My wallet's in my locker." He fell silent, thinking about it for a moment. "Bring me back a pepperoni with onions."

But Daniel had pulled out a book. "Visiting hours are nine to five," he said. "That's zero-nine hundred to seventeen hundred to you military types." He tipped his chair onto its back legs, and shifted his feet until he'd snagged enough of Jack's blanket under his heels. Jack's hand slapped ineffectively at his boots. "Think how bored you'd be without the rest of SG-1 around you. Being magical." He slouched down further into the chair, making himself comfortable. "Resign yourself to the inevitable, Jack: we're going to keep you company," he said—and disappeared into his book.

Teal'c had acquired a couple more chairs, and handed one to Sam. "I do not believe Doctor Frasier would appreciate it if we were to bring you pepperoni pizza," he said. "Particularly not one with onions. You know that they inevitably give you—"

~fzzt~

"Ow!" 

Sam shook her hand and stuck her finger in her mouth, glaring at the laptop she'd just opened. She looked up, meeting three concerned expressions. "I think it was that sandstorm on 352," she said, closing the machine and turning it over, and reaching into her pocket for a screwdriver. 

Teal'c and Jack exchanged looks, and Jack shook his head minutely, put the pillow back underneath his head, and hefted Daniel's feet sharply upwards. Daniel windmilled backwards with a yelp, and Jack closed his eyes and lay back down. "Don't eat my grapes," he told Teal'c, wagging a stern finger.

~fzzt~

"Ow!"

\---

END.


End file.
